yesterday I had a meeting with God. he met me face to face at Hy-vee of all places. let me start from the beginning.
my day began with me talking with my sister-in-law about how she handled it when she and her husband knew they were going to be moving but not for several more months. How do you wait? I didn't want to get involved anywhere because I didn't want to let people down when they found out that eventually we wanted to move. she basically told me that you just stay plugged in and allow God to use you. Don't shut down and mentally move yourself to the next place months (maybe even years) before God opens the doors for you to move. It's awesome that my husband and I are in one accord and are both desiring the same thing. That took almost 7 years to accomplish. But now I needed to try and contain that excitement and continue on in the "now". So through my sister-in-law i heard God say, while your waiting continue to serve me. I also spoke with my mother-in-law who agreed.
later that day i was watching a well known preacher, and the teaching was on "Radical Obedience", and.... you guessed it "Waiting on God". This teacher basically outlined that waiting is not a passive action. When we are waiting it is a spiritually active time of great growth in our lives. Basically saying BLOOM where your planted. After receiving these words from God i called my husband and asked what he thought about me stepping out and getting involved and serving in the area I am passionate about. He agreed that I should contact our pastor and "make myself available" to serve in whatever capacity he needed me to. So i picked up the phone and called. I told our pastor that God had impressed on my heart to step up and serve and asked that he pray and consider what level of involvement he would like me to have, if any. this is where God spoke again.... our pastor said "funny you should call." whenever you hear that you know that God is working! "funny you should call, I wanted to call you this morning but talked myself out of it because I didn't want to overwhelm you. In fact, we have been praying about you and your involvement". So there was the confirmation I needed. Later that afternoon on my way to practice I was listening to Life 107.1 (which I rarely listen to) and this song i had never heard before came on. the basic theme "while i'm waiting i will serve you, while i'm waiting i will worship you". hmmm.... God was really working in my heart today!
later that evening on my way home from practice i needed to stop at the grocery store for rice and creamer. as i was walking through the store i saw a neighbor. I knew this person only in passing and in fact i didn't even know his name. so as I was passing I said hello. the moment i said hello i got that "man you look familiar look, but i can't place you", and I said we're neighbors. Then the light bulb came on and he realized that our home was for sale and began asking questions, and then said "wow it must be frustrating that its taking so long to sell your house", and all i could say was "not really". I need to point out that I have struggled with frustration regarding this point, our home has been for sale off and on for the last 4 years, and I will admit that I have asked God and wondered why in the heck it wasn't selling. All the time putting on my pretty christian face and saying with my mouth that God's timing is perfect, but really not believing it in my heart. but when this gentleman spoke to me, a complete peace just over came me, and "not really" was all I could think about. So we chatted a little more, and he again mentioned that it must be frustrating that our home hasn't sold. Before I could think about what I was saying I said, "no, God is good". The man stopped, looked at me, and smiled. "Where do you go to church" he said. I said "Crossway Community", and he said that he knew the pastor. He then shared with me that he too was a pastor heavily involved with a local ministry. We began to talk about a little more deeper, spiritual things. at that moment he said "how can I pray for you, Sarah", "what are You struggling with". God impressed on my heart "Fear". You see over the last year I have had a lot of medical issues, and I have been struggling with a fear so real it was paralyzing me at times. I have been so afraid that I was going to die of a deadly disease. Cancer to be exact. Every little pain, every little symptom, my mind was going straight to "your dying, your children aren't going to remember you...". This fear was VERY real. I only shared with him that I was struggling with a fear of dying from a deadly disease. he then said "how long has this been terrorizing you?". and i realized that before I knew Jesus (about 8 or 9 years ago) i struggled with anxiety. when i met Jesus that all went away. I was completely surrendered to him. I had a very dramatic conversion. It wasn't until our first daughter was born in 2006 that this nagging fear began creeping back in. then after our second child came in 2009 it was there.... in the back of my mind it would creep in and then i would be able to dismiss it away. Soon after our second daughter was born i started having issues that gradually became more persistent. as that happened this fear really grabbed hold, and I began falling victim to this terrorizing, and believing LIES that the enemy was spewing at me. Even after it was determined that my issues were going to be easily controlled by a diet change (a significant diet change, but doable) i still struggled. Threw all of this I began a bible study through our church home and God began speaking to me about trusting him. Well over the last 7 months God has been trying to drill this into my head. Apparently last night he decided that divine intervention was necessary, because he sent a true, radically obedient, prophet of God to speak to me. After speaking with this gentlemen for a few moments he began sharing with me the message he had preached that week.... and what do you think it was about? Trust. God said through this man... if you can't trust me how can I take you where i want you to go? he shared with me a prayer that he told me to say numerous times throughout the day. over and over. it's very simple. "I trust you, Lord".
I am honored, and humbled that God would choose me. I hope this is an encouragement for anyone else who may read this.
