Friday, May 8, 2009

Crushed But Getting Through...

So I really don't understand life, but apparently i suck at it... So I am trying to focus on not trying to figure out what the heck happened and trying not to be sad, or mad, or whatever... and I was reminded by God that a lust for vindication and distraction is horrible... Thanks Oswald Chambers!


DISTRACTION OF ANTIPATHY
"Have mercy upon us, 0 Lord, have mercy upon us: for we are exceedingly piled with contempt." Psalm 123:3
The thing of which we have to beware is not so much damage to our belief in God as damage to our Christian temper. "Therefore take heed to thy spirit, that ye deal not treacherously." The temper of mind is tremendous in its effects, it is the enemy that penetrates right into the soul and distracts the mind from God. There are certain tempers of mind in which we never dare indulge; if we do, we find they have distracted us from faith in God, and until we get back to the quiet mood before God, our faith in Him is nil, and our confidence in the flesh and in human ingenuity is the thing that rules.
Beware of "the cares of this world," because they are the things that produce a wrong temper of soul. It is extraordinary what an enormous power there is in simple things to distract our attention from God. Refuse to be swamped with the cares of this life.
Another thing that distracts us is the lust of vindication. St. Augustine prayed - "O Lord, deliver me from this lust of always vindicating myself." That temper of mind destroys the soul's faith in God. "I must explain myself; I must get people to understand." Our Lord never explained anything; He left mistakes to correct themselves.
When we discern that people are not going on spiritually and allow the discernment to turn to criticism, we block our way to God. God never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize, but that we may intercede.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

4 Questions...

So here was my prayer:

God purify my heart before you regarding the areas you know that I am struggling in NO MATTER WHAT! I have been going around this same mountain my whole life and I am tired of looking at it and then falling in the same way yet again...

So I was feeling kind of like when something is hidden yet there it is right in front of your face. So God brought me to the following scripture:

James 1:14-15
temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. these desires give birth to sinful actions. and when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death

so apparently it's true, you can't blame it all on the devil, he just plays on your weaknesses...

So as I was sitting and thinking and pondering and then realizing "Hey, I'm medidating on the word" (all those years trying to figure out how to do that and then I do it and don't even know it!) God spoke to me...

Stop and think about the following questions when you feel yourself "falling" on your mountain that you can't seem to get around.

1. What is your desire? (right in the moment what am I desiring)
2. What sin is it giving birth to? (what lies is the enemy whispering to me to try and get me to fall into that sin)
3. Am I allowing it to grow? (am I believing the lies and allowing my reasoning to justify this sin)
4. Is it giving birth to death? (did I just walk the plank)

So basicially it was a classic example of the enemy preying on my weakness and let's just admit it... he's using this weakness to stunt my growth. I don't want to get suckered again!

So chew on that :)