a heart aching.

O Lord, how long will you forget me? forever?
How long will you look the other way?
How long will I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart everyday?
How long will my enemy have the upperhand?

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Don't let my enemies gloat saying, "We have defeated him!"
Don't let them rejoice at my downfall.

But I trust in Your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I will sing to the Lord
because He has been good to me.

God, I am so sad. Even my own husband does not understand my sorrow. I believe you, I trust you, I believe that You are who you say You are and that you will do what you say you will do. God, we all just need to see more of you. I know that I can't see the big picture, and I don't know your plan. But my heart is aching for Caleb. I guess my pain is for everyone. God I struggle so much some times when Kaylie is going through so many wonderful stages, and I just begin to weep when I see pictures of Caleb before his accident. My insides are just crying out WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM??? God what put him in this condition. Why is our family going through so much saddness? I seem to be missing my dad more and more each day, and I am just choking back tears. In the midst of my inner turmoil there is Joy. Because I am a child of the Most High God. I have been abundantly blessed. I have Rob, Kaylie, and Jennah in my life. God I just need you to turn to me and restore the sparkle to my eyes or I will die. God soon and swiftly move over and through Caleb's body. Touch his brain and restore the connections that are required for communication, for running and playing, for saying "I love you mommy", for seeing and walking and talking and being Caleb. Restore the sparkle to his eyes God. Restore the sparkle.